What happened to your eye?

Hello my Fluffy Teddy Bears

Earlier this year I wrote a blogpost about my eye, but I deleted it. I guess I freaked out from the attention, and also felt that I focused to much on the negative feelings and experiences related to it. 
I get questions about this very often in my comment section on youtube, so I will write a blogpost about this again, and try to let it stay. 

I was born with a white spot on my eye that started to grow. A dermoid cyste on the cornea. You can see this on the picture above. It`s me, and I was born with black hair. Then my hair went blond, and then dark brown. 

So when I was three years old I had to transplant a new cornea, and it was a successful eye surgery even if I can`t see much on it. I had to use medication (eyedrops) for years. In the beginning I had to wear a sticker blindfold on the healthy eye for a period of time every day, just to train both eyes to work together (like move in the same directions).

Over the years, and especially throughout my childhood my eye got a lot of attention, and often negative attention that hurt me really bad. As a teenager I ended up wearing colored contact lenses, to hide my flaw, because it made me really insecure. The years went by, I got tired of wearing this thick, and painful lenses, so I decided to throw them away and love myself just the way I am. Brown eyes doesn`t really suit me and my skin color. I prefer my bright and natural eyes.

I remember the first day I started wearing this dark lenses, that made my eyes look the same. I was so proud walking around at the shopping mall. I could look people in the eye without getting the surprised, strange look back. I felt more secure, and it helped me through my insecure and sensitive years. 

What I have learned from this, and what I can tell you. If you have something that you can`t change, try to find a way to love it. And I`m also sure you will find someone who will love it as well. 

I feel so lucky that I can see. I can see all the beauty in the world. I can look into peoples eyes. Having one healthy eye, is better than having no one at all. And also, I`m not totally blind. I can see light, reflections, shadows, movements, and colors close up. Everything are just very blurry and not detailed.  

So yes. That`s the story behind my eye. 



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This blog is about ASMR (Autonomous sensory meridian response), feelings and thoughts