Whats In My Closet? and mindfulness...

Hello My Fluffy Teddy Bears

Are you ready for some fashion talk? Please don`t mind the darkness on my black clothes. The sun and the position of the camera made it difficult to see the details sometimes, but at the same time I think it made an interesting and cozy effect. 

I try to stand as much as I can while working in the mornings, just because it`s not healthy for the body to sit all the time.

The last weeks or months, I have been thinking to much about a lot of things. It tends to be issues and irritating thoughts that comes to my mind when I`m alone, and I find myself arguing a lot with people who`s not here. Some does not even exist. It`s all in my head. It`s so bad I get really upset and angry and nervous. Irritating things that people have said in the past, irritating things that have happened. Irritating things that might happen. I feel that I need to be prepared for all the bad that can happen, so I try to come up with all this good, smart, but nice answers, but it`s never good enough and I get exhausted. Then I figured out this anger comes from fear, and this fear is making me mad. I want to be in control, but I don`t feel I`m. I even sometimes find myself doing things like folding clothes or cleaning the house, and suddenly I stand there realizing I could not remember doing it at all, because I was all caught up in my thoughts and I feel like a nervous wreck. It`s definitely annoying.
So a wice man said to be. "Stop thinking about that". "Learn how to be in control of your thoughts." He told me that I`m only responsible for my own feelings, and not others. So I should not think about other peoples feelings, because they are not my problem. And I`m not talking about hurting people purposely and then not care. I`m talking about choices I make, answers I give, and my own opinions that other might disagree on. That`s not my problem, and should not be. I don`t owe anyone an answer or explanation unless they ask. Then I can give an answer if I want to, but I don`t have to. We all are responsible for our own feelings and actions, and of course if someone is harming you on purpose that`s something different, but still, we can decide how we want to relate and respond to it, and if we want it to take control over us, or rather learn how to take something good from it and make us stronger and better human beings. One thing is sure, It`s not always easy at all. 

Lately I have been trying to practice mindfulness. I`m trying to be more in control over my negative thoughts, and push the negativity away before it takes control over me. Also I have ordered some books from eBay with daily gratifications words and quotes that I will try to read everyday, just to fill myself with positive energy and thoughts. Looking so much forward. I don`t know if it will help but it`s worth trying. 

Just some thoughts and a lot of feelings.

Good night!


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This blog is about ASMR (Autonomous sensory meridian response), life, feelings and thoughts