Pre Recorded Videos

Hello my dear and Fluffy Teddy Bears

I just want to inform you about something, so you don`t have to speculate. Many of my YouTube videos, especially my ASMR videos is pre recorded, meaning I recorded it, edited it, and sometimes even uploaded it several days ago, sometimes weeks and maybe even months. So for me when it`s not a good time for me to record a video for whatever reasons I can push the "publish" button or schedule it to publish itself and that`s it. I`m telling you this because I don`t want you to think I`m recording ASMR videos when I`m sick. I could have done it and I don`t see anything wrong with it if I wanted to, because we all are processing grief in different kind of ways, but it`s not the very best time for me at the moment and I dont want you to think I`m doing something I`m not, and especially under this circumstances. When doing Youtube it`s important for me to try to always have some extra videos if I`m not able to record. Even that can sometimes be really difficult, because there`s a limit to how much I can produce and that limit can vary from time to time, but I do my best.

I think I will share my miscarriage story with you when the time is right. The whole story from beginning to end. YouTube videos like this have helped me a lot in my pregnancy, to know what can happen and what to expect when it`s actually happening. I choose to share my pregnancy journey from the very beginning this time, so I think it`s ok to share my miscarriage as well. 

I want to thank everyone for being so supportive in the comment section in the latest video on my vlog channel. It have helped me a lot. Both me and my husband sat down and read your comments today and it was really touching and heartwarming. Thank you so much. I`m so lucky to have such supportive subscribers. 

Just to update you a little bit. I had cramps this night, I guess light to medium cramps and it came back really intense and painful after I had taken a shower this morning. It did not last for long tho. When I came home from the pharmacy and grocery store I went to the toilet and the baby fell out of me. It was inside its little balloon. We washed it, opened it up and our little bean was perfect and beautiful. It was a really special moment for both of us. We took our time to watch this little miracle, our little baby, our little angel, and then we buried it in our garden under our beautiful tree. 
I will have to go back to the hospital this week to check that everything is ok inside me, I`m still bleeding.


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This blog is about ASMR (Autonomous sensory meridian response), life, feelings and thoughts