Feeling Stalked | The Downside Being a youtuber

Hello there. Soon I don`t dare to call you my Fluffy Teddy Bears, because I`m scared some of you`re going to take it literally. 

For some months now I have been feeling that one person in particular has an obsession with me in an unhealthy way. It makes me extremely uncomfortable, to the point where I need to take some actions, and decide how I want to relate to my comment section for the future. I have been through the hate and trolling period, where all the hate hurt me. I have now learned from that, and it has made me stronger. Right now I`m experiencing fixation from someone, and I can tell you that`s a big downside being a YouTuber, knowing to keep people/strangers at a distance. I`m learning tho...

At first I gave this person the benefits of the doubt, treating the person the way I would treat any subscriber, but I realized quickly that this person was a little bit too over active with their comments. I answered more than I wanted, because this person was nagging me, and I wanted to be nice.
I was thinking that this person probably had some sort of a syndrome, lack of social skills, so I wanted to be understanding and hoped that this person would take the hint eventually, step back and leave me alone. 
Usually if someone ask me something and I don`t answer them back they respect it. They take the hint, or it does not bother them. But recently this person has been nagging me over and over again in every video. I decided to wait and see if this person would take the hint, so I did not have to go to the drastic step and let them now, and when I did their answer confirmed my suspicions. That`s when I realized this person had some hidden expectations, which made me extremely uncomfortable. 

I don`t know this person, have never met them... For all I know this can be a psychopath, a creepy stalker, a dangerous person. I can tell you that having a person being fixated on you, a person that nags you over and over again destroys my joy being on YouTube.  

I love my fans support, but I`m not obligated to give you anything for being supportive of my channel and videos, and you`re not entitled to personal, or special attention from me. I do not owe you anything. 

I`m not interested in building friendships over the internet with people I do not know. It`s not safe either. There are crazy people everywhere, and I don`t want them in my life. 

I`m taking back the control!!! YES you heard me.  I have been a nervous wreck the last couple of months. It has affected me more than I wanted to admit. Sometimes I`m just too nice I think, to the point where it gets extra uncomfortable for me to reject. I hate conflicts, I hate to reject. I hate to hurt. But if someone doesn't respect or understand my boundaries, I have no other choice than to do what`s best for me. If a person gets hurt by me setting boundaries for myself, then that`s their problem and not mine. It`s extremely frustrating and annoying when people don`t have social antennas and keeps nagging me. I do not owe anyone an explanation.

I like to create ASMR videos for you, and I appreciate your support and feedback, but I can`t give you anything more, and I don`t want anything more from you either. I don`t owe you anything, the same goes for you. You don`t owe me anything either. You can watch my videos if you want to, not because you have to. 

​I just want to be left alone making my ASMR videos. 

For the future I will go ahead and block people that nags me in my comment section of the video. It is my comment section, and I should not feel that I don`t want to be there anymore because someone is making me uncomfortable by not respecting my boundaries. If I want to read the comments, if I want to answer the comments, some comments etc, should be entirely up to me. I give out hearts to whom I want, and If I don`t want to give it to everyone that should be ok too. I`m done being a nerve wreck in my comment section scared to step on someones toes or hurt anyone. Just respect me, and if you get disappointed it`s your problem, so keep it to yourself. And also, if you get extremely hurt by rejection from a stranger on social media, you should seek professional help, because it is unhealthy for you, and not normal at all.

And oh! I`m NOT offering a public post box anymore. I don`t want gifts from you. People that sends gifts might have hidden unconscious agendas that they don`t even know about themselves. Hidden longings, wishes etc... I`m NOT for sale, simple as that. 

My tips to anyone that considers being a YouTuber. Never feel obligated to answer any comment if you don`t want to, or if someone is making you uncomfortable with their comment. Block this person. 

For the future I will block anyone that nags me, or make me uncomfortable with their comments.  I prefer feedback on my work, and comments relevant to the video I made. I also appreciate requests for sure, but you are not entitled to an answer or a promise. 

I assume that most of my subscribers have social skills and are able to distinguish right from wrong, and that you understand the meaning of respecting someones boundaries and privacy.

Everything will be better from now on. I will not let myself get lost into a trap ever again. 



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This blog is about ASMR (Autonomous sensory meridian response), life, feelings and thoughts